Bikes and Nutrition

25 days to go.  Less than 4 weeks.  I can officially say the what-am-I-doing-ahhhhhh phase is underway.

 

It’s not that I’m particularly scared, or anxious, or happy or sad or excited or anything.  It’s more an overwhelming “this is happening” feeling and a lot of short tempers and anxiety and obsessing and nervous excitement.  After some drama earlier in the week, I might be more or less worried, I'm not sure…but regardless, it’s certainly the #1 thing on my brain (even if it’s just running in the background).  I don’t know how to explain it.  It’s just there.

 

After a pretty standard week, I did a 5.5 hour ride with my coach.  This was great, because 1) I think I’m actually stressing out the most about the bike, so it feels like I need to be riding more, so it was "good" even though it wasn't, and 2) my coach got to actually see me ride.  It was an easy ride, a few hills, a few efforts, but nothing intense, just rolling saddle time.  I was kinda beat by the end (actually, by about 2 hours in) which I’m glad my coach saw, since that’s my biggest concern.  I keep totally losing my energy on the bike, and while part of it is probably nutrition-related (while riding), it kind of feels like “more.”  He seems to agree, saying he isn’t worried about me at all but could tell I was feeling kind of flat.  He thought it was probably just lactic build-up, for one, and told me to do a few more spinning-out drills throughout the week to keep my legs feeling more fresh.  More importantly, he mentioned nutrition…but of the “normal food” variety.  As in, I just really don’t eat enough carbs in general.

 

To be clear, I eat tons of carbs.  I certainly do not try to restrict them!  But especially before big training days, I focus on foods with protein, and foods that will go easy on my stomach.  Actually in general that’s mostly what I focus on, and truthfully I end up with lots of veggies and chicken.  Which is great!  And I do eat a good amount of carbs.  But, I think he has a point—and for everything I’m doing, I really don’t think I’m replenishing the stores enough.  So, I am definitely going to try to up the carbs a bit—not a ton, not gorging myself on pasta every day :) But, I will be more mindful of making sure I’m keeping those levels up, too.  Just topping off the reserves.  Hopefully that, plus forcing myself to eat even more (Mac suggested supplementing with almond butter, which I think will be a good thing to try, since I seem to just feel HUNGRY after a while and need something more “substantial” to digest besides the EFS which I’m trying now—more on that later) will help.

 

The next day, I was..tired.  Sore.  Etc.  I know I need it, though.  Shawn said I could either do my brick or run, so I chose to do my brick—longer, but I just did not feel like doing a tough run (plus Allen was gone at training so I had more time to do stuff).

 

Barely 90 minutes in, and I was feeling pretty done, even though I was really just spinning super easy.  I know that’s not a lack of fitness, I know my legs are stronger than that, which just makes me believe it may have more to do with outside-of-training nutrition, than anything else.  I found myself making excuses and thinking of how to take it even easier, and no hills, etc etc…and then told myself that if I was thinking that, then it absolutely meant I NEEDED to do a hill!  Toughen up, Rosanne!  So I did the long roundabout hill.  Stupid thing is long, not super steep, I think it’s around 8% average?  Just feels like forever.  So I spun my way up it, looped around Beaver Lake, and headed back.

 

So the EFS liquid shots I’m trying—only one trial so far, and even though I was zapped so soon, I think I like it.  I did get that hungry feeling (I also need to just eat more before starting, lets be honest), but I think adding in some almond butter too will help.  Overall, though: 1) still very sweet, but a different kind of sweet than gu.  Gu is kind of hard for me on the bike, that gooey sickly-sweet is just hard for me to swallow (literally).  The taste is totally fine for me on the run, and I’m not changing that routine at all, but on the bike, I preferred this taste, even though it was still very sweet.  2) thinner than gu.  Basically the same logic as point #1.  Having it in the little flask and just swallowing a couple mouthfuls was much easier than choking down the gu and trying to squeeze it out of the packets.  Plus, then i didn't have sticky hands which drives me NUTS on the bike.  The consistency also sat well in my stomach.  3) Most importantly, even though my overall energy fizzled, it still felt pretty…steady?  That is, there were no big ups and downs.  My blood sugar felt pretty well maintained, although it was definitely a downward trend ;)  But I had no big highs and lows, so I think it did regulate it better.

 

Anyway.  Bike remains my biggest concern, only because I’m worried about getting tired and not being able to run well (which I know I can).  The run is definitely my strength but I need to be able to get there to take advantage of it!  My speed is also a concern on the bike but honestly I just need to focus on feeling good the whole time and not tanking.  I’ve already kind of mentally braced myself for a slower bike time than I had originally hoped for…so weird that “my thing” (the bike) is actually not my thing when I’m racing haha.  Honestly as long as I can have a good, solid run, I’ll consider the bike a success.  :)

 

And on that note—finished my brick.  Only a 3 hour ride but I was honestly miserable by the end.  Food, legs, neck, stomach, everything...just wasn’t right.  I did not want to start running.  I was sure I would still be miserable.  But I got my shoes on, hit the road and—oh wait.  This isn’t that bad.  I was slower than usual, I didn’t have to slow myself down to  be at a more manageable pace, but I was right around where I’m hoping to run the last 26.2 so….  And I just overall felt better.  My stomach didn’t hurt any more, my neck was ok, I didn’t even feel hungry anymore (although if I were running more than 30 I would have for sure started stuffing gu down my throat, because I’m sure that was all an illusion).  It was hot out, and it kinda “sucked” but it was also “fine.”  I was more than happy to stop when my 30 minutes were up ;) but I also know I could have easily kept on going.  I can run when I have to.  I know that.  I confirmed that.  I’m a whole heck of a lot better at sucking it up and getting through a run, than I am a bike ride!

 

So that was good.

 

Until the next day, when I had to do my long run.

 

2:20 run.  3 mile warm up, 3 mile at “faster than ½ marathon pace”, 1 mile “a minute slower” then repeat that 3 times.  To Rosanne, that meant 3 mile intervals at ~7:15, with ~8:30 recovery.

 

I started running.  It was a struggle to run 9 minute miles.  It’s ok, I’m just warming up, you’re tired and just need to shake out your legs a bit.

 

Despite the fact that I only made it up to 8:30/mi during my 3-mile warmup, it was time to start the first interval.

 

I want to say I hit 7:15, even for a minute.  I really do.  And goodness knows I tried.  But I could not for the life of me hit it, even for a short time.  I managed to get to 7:30, and had ample time to freak out about not being able to run any faster, and then decided fine, I’ll just keep it here.  Except then I slowed down.  And down.  All told, I think the first 3-mile interval ended up hovering around 7:52/mi.

 

To be clear, I’m not scoffing at that.  But if I can run a half marathon at 7:20 or whatever, then why is it such a struggle to maintain 7:52 for three miles!  Oh geez, little did I know then…

 

Anyway, I happily slowed down for the next mile.  And grudgingly started the next 3-mile interval.  I think I kind of gave up on that 7:15 and thought fine, I guess my intervals will be at 7:50 and I’ll just have to deal with it.  I mean, at least sub-8:00/mi, right?   They’re just slow intervals.

 

That second interval crept up to around 8:00/mi.  Thank goodness there was only one more of these stupid intervals to go!  But wait—my 1-mile recovery is really slow.  Like 9+/mi.  that’s really slow, Rosanne.  Like, really slow.  You never run that slow—ever.  What is happening?

 

Last 3-mile interval.  Time to grit it out and just get it done.  Geez, I tried.  I wanted sooo badly to at least nail the overall theme of the workout, even though I was obviously way off the paces.  But honestly, it was so hard to just barely, barely hang on to an 8:30 pace.  I mean a real struggle.  I mean, I kind of stopped looking at my watch and mostly was just doing everything I could to Keep. Moving. Forward.  Because at that point, all I wanted to do was stop.  I mean, I wanted to stop throughout the entire run, but never so badly as during that last interval.  But I don’t stop, especially not in the middle of an interval!  So I had..to..keep..going.

 

Final interval came to end and, and THEN I stopped.  I realized I was at 1:55 which meant I still had to run for another 25 minutes.  I made the executive decision right then and there that would I stop running when I hit 2:20, even though I knew I wouldn’t be back to the start yet (since I was running SO much slower on the way back).  And then...I almost started crying.  Legit holding back tears.  I have never wanted to quit so badly on a run; I honestly don’t know if last year’s marathon was that painful, mentally.  At least that was a race, and my first marathon, and I was just going to finish that thing if it killed me.  But this was different.  This was when I realized that here I was, a week after the best, most effortless long run of my life, and now I couldn't hold any pace at all and I didn’t want to move one more step…and 25 minutes sounded like an eternity.  I really haven’t had to fight so hard just to keep running in a long, long time (if ever).

 

But I sucked it up, told myself the sooner I got going the sooner it would be over, and slowly, slowly, SLOWLY shuffled home.  Like 9:30.  Like usually I laugh and say I can’t even walk that slow.  And when my watch hit 2:20, you better believe I stopped.   And walked all the way back, even slower.  I don’t know how far it was, probably half a mile to a mile.  It was depressing.  But there was no way I was running any more.

 

So that’s the story of how Rosanne finally got broken on a run.  Somewhere out there, I did realize that I was running on 9.5+ hours of training in the last 48 hours, so maybe that had something to do with it ;)  I also knew that it was way more important for me to mentally get through that, than it was physically.  I wanted to be strong, I wanted to push and keep going…it was rough.  I better not stop like that on June 28, that’s all I can say…But I will also be more rested (well, going into the day) so here's holding on to hope.

 

Anyway, all things considered it was still a good weekend.  I ended the week at 17+ hours which is terrifying but good I guess????  I have another long ride this weekend to test out more nutrition stuff.  My coach (and everyone else) keeps reminding me that it was all a good thing, and will only make me stronger.  Shawn honestly doesn't seem concerned in the least, which is really comforting, but at the same time, I'm scared I'll let everyone down.  I mean, I know they’re all right, and the last couple peak weeks are meant to do this, and I trust my coach, but still…  :P  The feeling will pass.

 

In other news, this morning was a 5700yd swim.  Are we done with those yet?!  It felt awful and miserable and SLOW and demoralizing but hey, I guess these last couple of build weeks is all about mental toughness more than anything ;)

 

Despite how depressing this sounds, and how whiny I am, I still love it.  I am terrified, but also so, so pumped to see what happens later this month!!  :)